Vegemite is what defines Australians. We boast about it, praise ourselves for being able to eat it and relish at the facial expressions when we lure a Vegemite virgin to taste it. To my knowledge, its the only food stuff we have thats reknown as Australian.
It has mystical powers which assists hang-overs, the munchies and makes mouldy bread edible. We are obsessed with it.
The whole world knows about it, which brings me to believe that Aussies have been pushing thickly coated pieces of Vegemite toast into the mouths of unsuspecting foreigners for decades. The whole world has tasted it, but in amounts that no Australian could tolerate. This has caused a terrible scar on the psyche of the planet and it doesnt bode well for Kraft's international Vegemite expansion plan (still a working title.)
Every country has its Vegemite. Something totally adored in the country of origin and absolutely loathed by the rest of the world.
The Swedes have Kalles Kaviar; fish eggs in a toothpaste tube. It tastes very salty not to mention fishy. Its a breakfast food and applied to hard breads, eggs and just about anything that suits a bitter taste. It has a cheap competitor (like our Aussiemite with that stupid koala on the front), the same 1950's branding and is administered to unsuspecting foreigners straight from the tube, like some sort of rite of passage. A Swedish girl I shared an apartment with in London brought a bucket of it and lived of it for 3 months.
The Canadians have Clamato; clam chowder and tomato juice mixed together. It tastes like clams and tomato. I have a real problem with this one, purely because it disturbs me to think what would posses a human being to mix up clam chowder and various juices to come up with Clamato. Its really disturbing. Clamato is administered to foreigners straight up but its hard to keep it down.
The Canooks also have maple syrup, not a salty breath killer like the above mentioned products but thick, sugary and applied to EVERYTHING. Eggs, bacon, steak...you name it. If they had Vegemite they would put maple syrup on top. Each year they go out into the forests and eat it straight off the tree. I like maple syrup, but not on pasta.
The English have shit food. Enough said.
The Americans have saturated fat. There is no escaping it. Even the salads are drowned in it. After 2 weeks in the US on my first trip I was almost weak from lack of vegetables. Scurvy was close to setting in.
So what is it with our obsession to get the world to try our crap national foods in such lethal doses? Surely if we were serious about it we wouldnt lay it on so thick that the victim gets a nervous tick everytime they hear the name. Which is why I am I so scarred from Clamato, maple syrup, Kalles and saturated fat.
In reality, us Aussies will never try and introduce someone to Vegemite in any other way. It goes on thick as peanut butter to anyone that has never tried it. Even better on the end of a table spoon.
We want them to hate it, because we want them to think that we are special for loving it.
5 comments:
Where to begin......
I've always found it curious the food Australians are so proud of is, by their own admission, disgusting if applied in any but the most miniscule of quantities.
There is some strange national pride in being able to tolerate, though not quite enjoy, something identified as culturally 'Aussie'. If Australians take joy in the disgusted expressions on the faces of the unsuspecting 'Vegemite virgins' they inflict the salty brown sludge on, it seems to me to be a pretty sick form of expression of national pride. 'It may be freakin' disgusting, but it's ours! oi oi oi!' Disturbing.
Also, if Vegemite is so 'strayan, why does it bother nobody that it's made by an American company? Same with Holden, the beloved Aussie carmaker.... a subsidiary of General Motors.
I've always thought Vegemite was most useful as a social experiment.... proof that, if started from a young enough age, you can feed a person ANYTHING and they'll grow up liking it.
Ah.... I feel better. Sorry man, but I have a lot of pent up rage after being forced to watch the Olympics on 7 for 12 hours a day at work. Seven's coverage makes NBC look balanced.
But to my main reason for writing.... Clamato isn't made with clam chowder, but clam broth, a distinction worth pointing out I think.
And I agree it's not the most lovely sounding mixture... but we aren't carrying it around in our backpacks, nor having crates sent from home at christmas, then forcing people to drink it while waving the flag.
Clam chowder, clam broth. Clams! Nuff said.
I took Vegemite with me to Germany and was told it tasted like "Maggie" - same company that gives us our 2 minute noodles, but it refers to a kind of beef stock powder. Not the greatest comparison.
I don't tend to dole it out as thick as peanut butter for unsuspecting victims - a thinnish scrape with some butter on a crisp baguette has brought a few people over to the cause.
I'll take your word for it that it makes mouldy bread edible - I think you're special for eating that!
Wicked comment on the Maggi reference there Alice, it does actually tie back to a form of extraxt, which is also commonly known as Oxo/stock cubes in Oz. It's a cubed, preserved version of any sort of meat stock. Maggi was the first company to commercialize it.
Vegemite is yeast extract that contains the same stock as Maggi beef noodles basically. Used as a flavouring :P Plus wicked preservatives, hence the mouldy bread.
It is actually incredibly good for you too, happy little vegemite's really are happier and healthier because of the Vitamin B, and other essential nutrients it contains.
Tim:
Vegemite was practically produced as a substitute for fresh fruit & veg on long nautical voyages, to prevent scurvy. Kind of like the one our Australian forefathers took up when they were shipped over here by the English.
Vegemite is produced by Kraft, which was originally an English company, that sold out to the americans. When you consider that Vegemite is actually legally unattainable in america, and virtually impossible(yay Tesco's) to get almost anywhere in the UK, you start to ask yourself again how 'strayan it is.
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